Through ironically colourful colourblind eyes....

4/21/2005 08:29:00 AM

The road ahead...

...is shrouded in mist, a heavy fog all around. I cant see but a few months ahead at any one time. I am now at the ripe young age age of 25 (I say young because well I am, but I say ripe cause I figure its around this time one's life is supposed to start, the time you make decisions that will shape how the rest of your life should look) and still I have not a clue as to what I want to do with my life. The only reason I did Computer Science at UWI was because at the time it was 'the future', and a sure fire guarantee. I didnt actually start liking it until in my final year. Ive been in the industry for what, 3 years now? And its ok, not great but its ok. I dont hate my job, but I dont love it either. Its not my passion if you know what I mean.
I am very close towards the end of my Executive MBA degree in Business. Why did I decide to do it? Because 2 years ago I was feeling this exact way and wanted to do something with my life, something that showed some sort of progression. I had no knowledge whatsoever of the Business world (the extent of my knowledge was CXC Accounts), and by this time the Computer Industry was pretty much saturated as far as I was concerned. If people are able to learn everything needed to know about Networking, Programming etc. from downloading a few tutorials from the net, and can get jobs in consulting in hardware maintenace, networking, etc. all without so much of a diploma, whats the point in going further to do Masters? None. My best option was to go for a different field. Mi nah lie, the MBA did rough, cause is a Executive Masters they dont start from scratch, they assume you have some knowledge of certain things from before. I can now say I know a whole lot more about the Business world...but again, nothing I am particularly passionate about. And I hate the idea of managing people, the only time I would consider being a manager of anything is if its my own company. Anyhow it wasnt a waste, any knowledge is good knowledge.
So what do I like to do then? Well, I love music. Funnily enough, I never started listening to music til the early 90s when I got cable. So nuff 80s tunes I dont know. Around the same time my father got me this very small keyboard, and a friend taught me the song "right there waiting for you". Easy enough to learn, nothing that got me addicted. Then in 4th form at high school I decided to join the choir cause I needed some extracurricular activity on my report. The rest is history. By the time I left high school 4 years later I was capable of playing grade 3 and grade 4 pieces. There was one particular difficult piece I could play just about as well as the choir's pianist...maybe even a little better. Because I couldnt read notes to save my life but I loved playing I would sit at the piano for hours making up stuff, and ppl would ask me to teach them. In that time I also took up guitar, and a friend taking guitar lessons at Edna Manley was asking ME to show HIM some stuff.
So where am I with music now? Nowhere. After I left high school the passion faded. Well, the passion for playing that is. I still like to compose stuff, but I havent done it in so long I wonder if I still can....
I also have a growing love for photography. I havent explored it fully yet tho. That will be my plan for the next year or so....
How can I use these talents to make money? I dunno, I dont even know my place in either of them. Like I said, the road ahead is covered in a heavy fog. I wonder how long this fog will take to lift.....

Blogger Bashmentbasses did sey...

Some time ago there was an e-mail circulating about mid 20s crisis. It seemed to have some hint of truth. I went through a similar thing. My situation is compounded. I love many things and seem to be fairly competent at them. I want to do so much but don't have the time or the resources. My attention span is not so wonderful either so I have to keep going or I get bored. Pan has me for 8 years, that's quite a feat. I am surprised about that.

I hope you find yourself. It sucks being lost.

Thu Apr 21, 02:19:00 PM 2005 

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Blogger Rae did sey...

25 and uncertain seems to be the cry for many of us, myself included. You're definitely not alone on this one. I pray your fog be lifted, as I pray for my own.

Thu Apr 21, 09:49:00 PM 2005 

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Anonymous Bianca did sey...

D, I've been where you are and it has taken me a few years to get through it (sorry to tell you). Like you I did the masters as part of this search. I find myself now at another crossroads and I can only hope that the path I am about to embark on is the "right" one for me. My advice - FOLLOW YOUR HEART.

Wed Apr 27, 12:46:00 AM 2005 

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