1/16/2006 12:37:00 PM
Love: want or need?
If you "need" someone then there is something they bring to your life that is important to your well being, so you will always want them around. Ok, nothing wrong with that. But isnt it possible that that scenario can lead to one becoming somewhat dependent on the other? Or one person becoming 'needy'? Needy is never a good thing. So, in essence, you love them because you have to, not necessarily because you want to.
Ok, so lets say love should be a "want". You love someone because you choose to, not because you have to. Great, sounds ideal right? Just one snag that bothers me...
The love between us and God. Do we love God because we want to love him? Or because we need him? If we didnt "need" God in our lives, for strength, for peace of mind, for whatever it is you turn to God for....would you still love God and want him in your life as much as you do now? And if thats the case, shouldnt we be modelling our love for people from our love of God?
And another thing...if you dont "need" someone in your life, but "want" them in your life, does that then follow that you would not fight as hard to make the relationship work? Cause after all relationships take work, and in the end you can do without them since you dont necessarily "need" them....
Questions questions........but as im writing, some answers are coming...
*Bear with me, im writing as the thoughts are coming*
Say you had nothing. You include God in your life because you need the support, you remained faithful and steadfast in your faith...in time you achieve everything you ever wanted. You are totally comfortable, no longer in as great a need as before. Chances are God will still be in your life, but not necessarily because you "need", but because you "want".
How about the love between a child and a mother? In the beginning a child "needs" its mother, but as the child gets older and gains independence the child wont "need" the mother in their life as much anymore, but it will be more of a "want".
So could that be it then? It starts as one and ends with another? Or is it a delicate balance of the two? A mixture of "need" and "want"?
Rae did sey...
Never really thought about it till now. But you raise good points and my thoughts at the moment are that it's a good mix and balance of both.
I say this because the presence of one doesn't negate the other, and when I think about it, my strongest relationships are those in which I find I want AND need the person in my life for whatever reason, and vice versa.
Aside: People seem to fear the word dependent for some reason, but noone is truly independent. We all need someone/something.
Trying To Focus did sey...
It's both, D. Ppl need to connect to something or someone for emotional/psychological, or spiritual well being. Love becomes an agent or a means through which one connects; or perhaps more precisely it is one way of connecting. An individual is like a piece of something waiting for for something or someone else to make it whole. some persons may never become whole or may improvise in order to feel complete.
Upon finding something or someone, or improvising, one may react differently as, "I think," you had outlined: some ppl take things for granted when they lose appreciation for the other; they may become too dependent when they perhaps lose a sense of self; or they may just embrace and apprecilove what they have found. under the first to conditions, work is necessary the mend a fading relationship.
As far as needs and wants are concerned, one needs to connect for support, fulfilment or whatever; 'want' perhaps suggest the pleasure gained or the lighter side of it.
laroper18 did sey...
Your post reminds me of one thing- the colour grey.
bassChocolate did sey...
'Needy' isn't a bad thing. It does make you vulnerable, but there's little wrong with that. We coexist because in the end, we all do something different for each other. Need and necessity drives us everyday.
As to the spiritual factor, we learn to need God initially. When we end up wanting God, we're on the right track.
D did sey...
I know this is late in coming, but thanks for the comments. Ive learnt something here...